First Lies (The Second Life Series) Read online

  Lilly looked at me, “Baby girl, you do not look like you’re having a good time. Want some? DJ brought it in for us.” DJ was one of the bouncers. He made okay money doing that, but he made most of his riches dealing to the girls here. “This is some really good shit. You need to take a hit.”

  I stared at the baggy of coke, casually tossed to the side. Fuck, I wanted it. I used to do coke almost every night in the beginning of working here, but I stopped. It fucked with my head. I felt amazing in the beginning, but as it wore off, waves of depression ran through my body. I got the bright idea of doing more coke than ever before in order to make the high last longer, but then, I almost overdosed. Gloria was the one who found me convulsing on the bathroom floor, choking on my own vomit.

  I swallowed as the memory of bile crept into the back of my throat. “I’m good.” I said, swiftly turning away from her. I grabbed a bottle of vodka, ignoring her pleas to take a hit. I removed the top and started chugging. By this point in my life, I didn’t need a chaser. It went down easy.

  Finally, when I couldn’t breathe any more, I removed the bottle and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Yeah, that should do it. In a little bit, I’d be fun, sexy Jersey. In a little bit, I’d be every man’s dream.

  I went into the closet designated for my outfits. It was actually a small locker, but my clothes didn’t take up that much space anyway. I grabbed a pair of hot pink, fuzzy boot covers that I pulled over my heeled boots. I tore off my top and slipped on a white bikini top. I slid on a white skirt, and after a shrug, I decided to leave the underwear off. I was going out there bare tonight, so after pulling on one of my many masks, I just went for it.

  As I walked through the club, I started dancing. The vodka was working through my system, and I felt so carefree. I spun around in circles, ignoring the calls of the men around me, but then I suddenly stopped. Across the room, a man stared me down. His eyes bore into my skin. My heart raced, pounding harder and harder. It was Wes.

  Wes was sitting at a table with a few other guys, watching me from across the room. His lips were moist. His hair was a sexy mess. There was that sexy stubble across his chin. I gulped. He was just as beautiful as I had remembered. Although, he looked so much more relaxed here in the club compared to dinner at that restaurant, but then again, every man was. I cocked my head to the side wondering; he didn’t strike me as the strip club type of guy. I wondered what brought him here.

  For a second, I thought he recognized me but not in this atmosphere. It was too dark. I was dressing and acting differently. Then, there was also the mask only revealing my plump, red lips. I was safe here. This was my playground.

  Continuing to ignore every other man in the club, I stalked towards Wes and stopped at his table. All of his friends moved their eyes to me. I have no idea what they said or even looked like for that matter, but that’s because I didn’t care. I rested my hand on his shoulder and leaned into his ear, “Let me dance for you tonight.”

  Wes looked back and forth to his friends, waiting for their approval. I had no time for patience, so I grabbed his hand and led him to the backroom, bypassing Crystal, the girl taking payment for couch dances. She wouldn’t rat me out. I covered her ass more than once in the past. She used to sell blowjobs at that booth, too.

  I forcefully sat Wes down, biting my bottom lip. His eyes were animalistic as he stared up at me. I straddled him, rubbing myself against his crotch. I leaned towards his ear again, so he could hear me over the music, “You can touch me.”

  He moaned as I teased him with my incessant grinding, “I thought you weren’t supposed to touch the dancers.”

  I removed my bikini top, revealing my breasts. Wes continued to watch me, almost drooling over me. I loved this power. I loved the power I had over him. On our date he was so reserved, and I couldn’t get him to loosen up. He turned me down and never called me back. Here, in my territory, I owned him. He wanted me, and that was as undeniable as the pressure growing in his pants. I smirked to myself. He felt big, very big. A shiver went up my spine as I thought about him fucking me.

  With one quick movement, I turned around and sat down on his lap, grinding more. I reached around for his hands and pulled them to my chest, so he could feel my hard nipples within his grasp. I guided them across my body, to my inner thighs, but keeping away from that oh so special place.

  I spun around again and captured Wes by the back of his neck, pulling him into a hard kiss. I bit his bottom lip and released him instantly, smirking triumphantly. After that, I stood up and walked out of the room, leaving him with a raging hard on and no release.

  When I went back stage, I was lost in celebrating my victory over Wes. I felt like a football player after a touchdown. Whether or not he realized it, he wanted me. Lilly was hunched over the vanity, high off her ass, giggling for some unknown reason. Fuck it. I earned this.

  I grabbed the bag and poured some coke on the table, using a blade to straighten out a line. I rolled up a dollar bill into a straw and took a quick snort. All my senses spiked at the sensation. Damn, I missed this. Every night was a party. I could still do this. I just had to remember moderation was key.

  I changed outfits and went back out on the floor, flirting and giving private dances to men. I don’t know or give a fuck whether or not I was making a lot of money. I was having a great time. The room glowed around me in a euphoric light.

  “Jersey!” Charlie called me. I stopped talking to some guy and walked over, despite my client’s protest. “Get your ass on that stage. You already missed a dance earlier.”

  Immediately, I complied. I walked up to the stage. Viv was dancing topless at the DJ booth as usual and shouted over the microphone, “Give it up for the one, the only Jersey!”

  The crowd erupted into shouts of applause. I took to the pole with killer energy pumping through my veins from the coke. I climbed to the very top, spinning in a way that revealed every curve and shape of my body. When I finally made it back down, I crawled across the floor and took off my bra. Money flew in every direction. I pressed my breasts into a man’s face, and he dropped all of his money into the string of my underwear. I laughed out loud. I was actually having a good time here.

  As I made my way across to the other side of the stage, I’d stop at random men, showing them a little extra attention. They threw their money at me, and I laughed and shook my ass in their faces. I was crazy. I was vivacious. I was high, but most importantly, I was beautiful and in control.

  Then, all of a sudden, my world came crashing down. Wes pushed through the crowd. His face looked utterly panicked. His eyes were large with fear, concern, every emotion possible. My heart was going too fast. The coke was fucking with my head, making me anxious. The vodka was making me dizzy. The way he was looking at me was so raw….and then, it hit me. He knew. I don’t know how, but he fucking knew. The mask didn’t mean a God damn thing. My mother, friends, family shot into my head as vivid images. Fuck, my dad and Nick were going to kill me. My breathing started increasing. My heart was going too fast. My arms started to shake. I was sweating. My vision became blurry.

  All at once, several things happened. My hearing cut out. All I could make out was the hard vibrations of the bass under my palms and knees. It felt like every major organ in my body just stopped working. Wes was shouting, but I could only make out the movement of his lips to be, “Adriana.” My heart pounded hard in my chest, reminding me that I was still actually alive. I dropped to the floor beneath me, suddenly unaware of where I was exactly, and I saw a white flash.

  Somehow, someway…he knew.

  Chapter 5

  I woke up in Lou’s arms, wrapped in an old, musky blanket. He was carrying and walking me slowly backstage. I could hear Charlie’s voice in the distance. He sounded panicked. He was arguing with another familiar voice that I couldn’t quite place. The room was still blurry, and my muscles felt weak. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes again. I was too scared.


  We walked into Charlie’s office, and Lou placed me down on the couch, sure to put me on my side. He kissed my forehead, and I finally got a good look at my teddy bear. He was bald with caramel colored skin and endless dark eyes. Normally, he was always smiling this boyish grin at me but not right now. He looked blanched and terrified. I imagined he was mirroring my expression.

  “Are you okay?” He asked smoothly, ignoring the people in the background. “Can you talk to me? Can you say something?”

  “I need water,” I said calmly, recognizing the coke and vodka still in my system. I wondered if I was capable of walking. I wanted to make myself throw up.

  Lou gave me another kiss on the forehead, removed the mask, and brushed some of my sweaty hair out of my face, “Stay here. Don’t move. I’ll get you some water.”

  As Lou walked away, I started paying attention to the argument that was happening on the other side of the door from me. Charlie was screaming something about how I was fine. This wasn’t the first time I seized, and I just had to sleep it off. The other person kept screaming at him to take me to a hospital, or he’d call the police down here and have a team of New Jersey’s best lawyers shut the club down. Fuck! That kind of talk could only be coming from one person.

  “Shut the hell up!” I screamed. Both voices stopped arguing. Charlie and Wes walked into the office. Both men were dressed in black suits, but they each carried themselves very differently. Somehow, although both men seemed to give off an air of darkness and control, it didn’t change the fact that they were polar opposites. “I could use some quiet here.”

  Lou came back into the room with a cup of water and helped me drink it down. After that, he stood in front of me like a guard dog, sizing up Charlie and Wes. My head started pounding. I must have hit it on the floor of the stage when I collapsed. I’m sure tomorrow that wouldn’t be my only problem. Tomorrow I’d be covered in bruises.

  “Adriana,” Wes leaned down beside me, keeping his eyes locked on Lou, “we need to get you to a hospital. You just had a seizure out there.” Staring at him made me feel, once again, like a worthless piece of shit. I hated that he saw me like this. I hated that I didn’t make up his presence in my head. Nope, this guy really was standing here.

  “No,” I said stubbornly. I couldn’t risk word getting back to my family that their precious, little girl had a coke induced seizure on stage while performing at a strip club. That wasn’t an option. “I just need to throw up, and then I need to go to bed.”

  “You have to be fucking kidding me!” Wes shouted. He raked a hand threw his hair out of frustration.

  Lou stepped forward aggressively. I touched his leg with my hand to stop him, “No, Lou, it’s fine. He’s just scared.” I looked into Wes’s eyes. He was petrified. He didn’t know about this world where you’d just sweep something like this under the rug and then get back to life. “Will it make you feel better if you’re the one to take me home?”

  Wes narrowed his brow. After a moment of thinking, he finally nodded his head, “Yes, it would. I’d like to see that you’re okay for myself.”

  I tugged on Lou’s pant leg. He looked down at me, and I asked, “Can you go grab my backpack and purse? I’m going home.”

  Before I left Lux, I stopped in the bathroom and made myself throw up until my throat was raw, and I was coughing spurts of blood into the toilet. Then, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Lou helped me to my Camaro. I sat in the passenger’s seat and reluctantly gave Wes the keys to my baby. If I had any confidence in my driving ability right now, there’d be no way I’d let anyone else drive this car.

  Wes pulled out of the parking lot. I waved a goodbye to Lou who was still standing outside, watching the car speed away into the distance. We were silent at a light. Finally, Wes said, “Are you sure you want to go home?”

  “Yes, I’m sure,” I answered firmly. “I’m not going to a hospital.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant,” he exhaled, knowing he had already lost that battle. “Can we go back to my place in Cherry Hill? You can drive yourself back home tomorrow. Otherwise, I’m kind of stuck in Philly. I came with friends, remember?”

  “Oh,” I thought about it for a long minute. Cherry Hill neighbored Haddonfield. I’m not sure I wanted to be in this condition and so close to my mom, but I owed Wes that much at least. “Yes, I suppose that’s okay. You can’t tell anyone about this though. I can’t let my mom find out.”

  Wes gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white, “I’m sure you’re in no mood for a lecture but-”

  “You’re right. I’m not in any mood for a lecture, so please don’t give me one,” I said sternly. We drove the rest of the way into New Jersey in silence.

  Wes pulled behind Garden State Park, a section of Cherry Hill covered in shops and restaurants, into a private garage. It had changed so much since I was little. Once upon a time, this used to be a giant race track for horses. Behind the upscale stores was now a new development of town homes with a distant, picturesque view of Philadelphia. Wes helped me out of the car and slowly guided me into his gorgeous home.

  Although only partially furnished, the townhouse was still beautiful. As we entered the giant, wooden door, we were greeted by an open layout with granite countertops and high end appliances in the kitchen, wood flooring throughout the entire space, and huge windows. In the living space, there was only a black leather couch and flat screen TV that hung on the adjacent wall. A few cardboard boxes cluttered the hallway. He must have just moved in. This place had the potential to look spectacular.

  “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Wes growled at me. He was still so terrified. For me, most of the fear had already worn off. Like Charlie said, this wasn’t the first time I had had a seizure. I was just still feeling extremely weak. I had officially come off my high, and my body was aching. I was tired, but Wes was taking care of me. I owed him the common decency of telling him whatever truths he wanted to know.

  “Calm down,” I instructed. I sat down on the couch and made myself comfortable. “Ask me whatever you want. As long as you promise to respect my privacy, I’m willing to tell you whatever it is you want to know.”

  “Are you a full time stripper or is this all for fun?” He spat.

  “Both,” I answered honestly. His judgment didn’t bother me. Working at Lux, I was used to it. I was called names on a daily basis. “I started a few months ago. It is how I pay my bills, and I have fun at my job.”

  “Why?” He was standing above me and then suddenly pacing back and forth. It was starting to make me feel a little sick again. I gulped to hold in the surfacing bile. “I met your mom and stepfather. They’ve got money out the ass. You grew up in Haddonfield. Why are you a fucking stripper?”

  “You can’t judge someone you don’t know. You’ve only been out once with me, and as far as we were both concerned, neither of us was ever going to see the other again,” I said shaking my head at him. I wanted to sound defensive, but I felt so weak that I knew it was hopeless. “I’m extremely grateful for your concern, but I didn’t need you tonight. I can take care of myself. Those people are like family to me. I would’ve been fine.”

  “Yeah because ignoring a nineteen year old girl having a seizure is the prime way to show you care about someone,” he fumed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “And don’t act like I didn’t try! It was our first date, and your emotions were everywhere! I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on through your head. It was like whatever fucked up relationship you had with your mom was somehow my fault.”

  I sat on the couch, staring up at Wes, completely shocked. He had called it. That’s exactly what I turned our date into. Slowly, I stood up and stared at him straight into his gorgeous, green eyes. I deflated and with true sincerity, I said, “I’m sorry.” I surprised myself with that one. I never apologized for anything, but I knew the truth. The destruction of our date was truly my fault. “You’re right. I took out whatever issu
es I had with my mom and blamed them on you. I’m sorry for not giving you a fair shot.”

  The apology seemed to take him back a bit, but he immediately dismissed that feeling, “Why are you up there doing coke? You’re beautiful and smart. You go to one of the top universities in the world, yet you go on stage every night dancing for a bunch of assholes with cash.”

  “Before Lux, I was unhappy,” I shook my head at the seemingly distant memory. For some reason, I wanted to tell him the whole truth. Maybe, it was my current state of vulnerability, but I felt like I could trust him. “Dealing with my mom is hell, being at school was hell. I was gaining weight, and nothing seemed to make me feel okay. My brother lives in Boston and disowned my whole family. My dad moved to Virginia, and every day I have to fake being happy that he’s doing something for himself. He’s the only one I truly connect with, and I have to put my feelings aside every time we speak.

  Then, out of nowhere, I meet my best friend, Gloria. She’s beautiful and confident and sexy. Everything I wanted to be, but the cost is that she dances. I tried it out one night and became addicted. You get this fantastic rush, being up on stage with the whole world in awe by you. It’s better than any high you can ever imagine.”

  “How can you keep this from your mom?” He asked in wonder. “How can you keep this from your whole family?”

  “Let me ask you a question,” I said in an even tone. “What type of relationship do you have with your family?”

  Wes shrugged, “I’m very close with them. My dad died about five years ago, and that only made us closer. My family is the most important thing in my life.”

  “With my family,” I whispered, “it’s the complete opposite. For a long time, we just tolerated each other. Then, we started hating each other. Once my brother was old enough, he moved out, and I think he’s been back to Jersey maybe twice since that happened. My mom and I didn’t get along for years. Even though I understood her, that didn’t change the fact that most of the time I had no respect for her. This is the first time in my life where we’re both working together to try and have something.” I looked passed him out the window to nothing in particular. “Honestly, whenever I say I love her, it’s out of habit. I don’t remember the last time I actually meant it.”