Second Lies (The Second Life Series) Read online

  “Yeah, she’s on the list,” he groaned.

  “Okay, sir, just making sure everything was alright. You two can stop down at the front desk whenever you’d like to pick up a spare card key.”

  “Thank you,” the door shut, and Nick stomped back into the bathroom where I remained, hoping that he’d somehow forget the recent events. As I stared into his eyes, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. “Are you going to talk to me?”

  “I already told you. He has something on me, but I think I’m okay. He just started campaigning for an election. He wouldn’t let anything get out about me,” I shrugged. “I guess there should be some sort of perk to him marrying my mother.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Nick threw his hands into the air, repulsed by how calm I was. I couldn’t help it though. If there was one thing I knew, it was that Dennis would help others if it meant helping himself. His stepdaughter couldn’t be a stripper. He’d do anything to keep that from getting out, especially with the campaign on the line. “He’s not going to back down. You’re going to become his dog. He’ll own you. When he says bark, you’ll bark. When he wants to take you outside to take a piss, you’ll go on his terms. This won’t end, Adriana. Compromise means nothing to that asshole.”

  The emotions he wore on his face brought a moment of enlightenment to me. He was speaking from experience. With large, curious eyes, I asked, “What does he have on you?” Nick froze, his muscles visibly tensed. His dark, menacing eyes burned through me. “That’s why you haven’t been seeing me or Dad. That’s why you won’t talk to us. That’s why you won’t step foot in Jersey. He’s blackmailing you.” He still didn’t say anything. “Am I right? Nick, what the fuck does he have on you?”

  Nick dropped his head to his chest, letting it hang there in misery. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. We both stood in silence until finally he answered my question, “We both have dark secrets that we won’t tell each other. Maybe, we should leave it that way.”

  “So what does that mean?” He didn’t answer. I wrapped my arms around him and started crying again. I had literally just gotten Nick back. He was my brother, and the look in his eyes meant he was going to turn his back on me. I couldn’t go through that again. I needed him. No one else got what I lived through besides the one other person who lived it with me. “Please don’t go. Please don’t stop talking to me again.”

  Nick pulled himself out of my grasp. He nodded his head and led me to the living room where we both took a seat. As he stared out the window, facing the Boston streets, he began, “Do you remember Mom’s accident?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “Well, I was with her that night. We had started talking again about a year before. It wasn’t much communication. Usually, we’d just email each other or send a text, but then I decided to visit her in secret. I never told you or Dad because it was complicated. I was still figuring out if I wanted her in my life after she fucked up my childhood. I didn’t want your opinions to affect my own.”

  I nodded slow and steady. I knew that feeling. My dad never said anything about my budding relationship with my mother, but he didn’t have to. The disapproval was in his eyes. Nick continued, “Well, it was right before Christmas when I came down. We went to some restaurant, and well, you know Mom. She drank everything in sight, even got me to take a few shots with her. Eventually, she told me how sorry she was. She said mothering just wasn’t something she ever picked up, like that one important part of her brain never developed properly. She said even though she wasn’t good at it she wanted to try again. It’d be easier now that we were adults and able to function on our own. She said she was proud of us...”

  “So Dennis found out you and Mom were talking again?” That didn’t sound bad at all. I guess it was possible for Dennis to be threatened by Nick and his short fuse.

  Nick laughed and shook his head, “He found out more than that…Mom was drunk off her ass as usual. There was no way she could drive herself, so I offered. The only problem was that I wasn’t much better.” He slammed his hand down on the table and rose to his feet. He cursed as the memories came back to him. “It had been a long time since I was in Jersey. I couldn’t remember the way back home. I was lost and nobody was around. I started driving faster. I wasn’t in a good neighborhood. I tried to find some familiar territory, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to the road in front of me.” Nick turned around and faced me. His eyes were swollen and red. Tears fell down his cheeks. I had never seen him cry before. The sight of it all set me back. “I hit some guy, lost control, ended up flipping the car.” He ran a hand nervously through his dark hair. “It’s true what they say about drunk drivers. It’s the passenger that always gets hurt. The driver is usually spared, so he has to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.”

  “What happened after that?” My jaw trembled. I was amazed I could even speak after what he told me. Vivid memories of my mother broken and bruised plagued me. She was never admitted to a hospital. Dennis hired private, in-home nurses to care for her and paid tons of money to have some of his distinguished doctor friends come to their Haddonfield home. During the time, I thought it was almost sweet to let her recover in the comfort of her own home. Now, I was quickly understanding that there was an ulterior motive. Really, I shouldn’t be surprised. There were always two reasons for every one action in this world that I lived in.

  “I climbed out of the car and pulled Mom out. There was blood everywhere. I thought she was dead,” he choked out. He cursed again and wiped his face with the back of his hand. “I called Dennis and told him what happened. I was too scared to check on the guy I hit, so I just left him there. He wasn’t moving. Dennis told me to stay put, not to do a fucking thing. He showed up with a couple of guys maybe twenty minutes later. He had GPS on the car, so he knew exactly where to find us. He asked me if anyone saw, and I shook my head no. All the row homes on this street were abandoned. We were alone out there.”

  Nick couldn’t even look at me anymore when he was talking. He uttered, “Dennis said he’d take care of everything, that all I had to do was keep my mouth shut unless he said otherwise. He took me back to their house, and he made me responsible for convincing Mom that she drove herself home that night.” I stopped breathing. It never occurred to me to ask about the details of the accident. The important thing was being there for her when she needed me. I always figured an accident was just an accident. Now, I learned there was so much more. “I told her she was drunk and insisted she drove herself home that night. I said that she must have totaled the car and forgot everything. She thought she was going crazy, but then Dennis had the nurses pump her with some shit that got her high. It made her forget. It made her unsure, but it made us leave this shit in the past where it all belonged.”

  “Jesus, Nick,” I clutched at the collar of my shirt, crinkling it between my fingers. It was too hot in here. It was hard to breathe. Nothing he said could be real, right? Finally, another important question came to mind. “What the hell happened to that guy you hit?”

  He shrugged, “I don’t know. I’ll never know. Dennis took care of everything and hasn’t spoken to me about it since last year when it happened.” He gulped, tearing his eyes away from mine. “We made an agreement. I had to stay away from Mom, speak to her very sparingly, only when necessary. If I ever wanted to see her on my own, I had to clear it with him first, and he had to be there with us. In return, he’d make sure I was taken care of financially, and that none of this mess had to crawl back into our lives. He’d ruin everything for me if I ever tested him. I just need to forget about all of this. Trust me. It’s for the better.” I shook my head in disbelief. No, this couldn’t be real. This was Nick. He could never do this. “He never told me to stay away from you or Dad. I just couldn’t bear speaking to either of you again after that night. You don’t deserve to be caught up with someone like me.”

  “I can’t believe you did that to Mom,” I bit my bottom lip. As far as secrets go, Nick took the cake
. I don’t think I could live with myself if I ever did what he did. No wonder he ran away from everything and everyone he loved and knew. “She’s probably living in hell. She thinks she almost killed herself driving home drunk. No matter what our childhood was like, she doesn’t deserve to go through life thinking that.”

  “Don’t get all holier than thou on me right now,” the words squeaked out, fighting through his heart wrenching cries. He rambled on. “It was never reported, and she made a full recovery. There’s no record of this. It’s like that night never even happened. Besides, she has more than one DUI earned on record, so this whole thing isn’t exactly farfetched. Think about it. Her life never changed even when she thought she almost killed herself from drinking. You would have thought this would’ve been exactly what she needed to change her life for the better, but I can bet anything she’s drinking just as much as before the accident. Not even this could change her.” He shook his head. “I’ve kept this a secret for almost a year. Don’t pull away from me. We’ve watched out for each other our whole lives, and from the sound of it, you have your own demons. Are you going to tell me what that is or did you suddenly forget that I’m not the only one with a closet full of skeletons?”

  “Don’t be an asshole, Nick,” I buried my head in my hands and fought to accept this secret. My brother betrayed my mother and possibly killed an innocent man. Dennis covered the whole thing up; he didn’t think twice about it. I was playing with fire, trusting Darth. Nothing he said could be trusted. Finally, when I was unable to think about Nick anymore, I blurted out. “I danced! I’m a fucking stripper!”

  After everything that was just said, I was somehow able to shock Nick. Amazingly, he laughed, “You’re fucking kidding. There’s no way you could do that.” I nodded my head. He became suddenly serious. “Why? Mom and Dad would give you anything.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and continued in a hushed voice, “My friend’s a dancer. She got me into it. I started doing drugs while I was there and drinking all the time. It was all about control and letting loose. It was amazing, losing all my inhibitions like that and making a shit load of money. No one ever thought the daughter of the saint, Dr. Thomas Ward, would ever snort a line of coke, but all of a sudden it became a regular thing for me. It became regular, and no one at the club judged me.

  Well, one day my boss wanted me to do this photo shoot with my friend, and I didn’t feel comfortable with taking semi-nude pictures to have up on the web. He gave me some pills, and then, I was so high I really didn’t give a shit any more. I was standing in just my underwear with another girl. I bought all of the photos back except one…and now, Dennis has it. The funny thing is I quit just a couple days ago. I had a plan to get the last picture back, but Dennis has it now. I have no fucking clue how he even figured out I worked there.”

  “Face it, Adriana. We’re two fucked up people, must be in our blood,” he sat down next to me again, and I somehow found the ability to look at him. As much as I wanted to run or scream at him or call my mom and tell her the truth, I couldn’t. Nick was right. We were broken, sad individuals. We were broken, and we needed each other. “So can I count on you to keep my secret?”

  “Can I count on you to keep mine?” I shot back. We both stared at each other for a second until finally I cracked a sadistic, appalling, possibly crazy grin.

  He smiled back, “Yes.”

  “Then, yes,” and just like that, we were one in the same. His demons were mine, and mine were his. Maybe it was crazy, maybe it was too soon, but Nick was right about one thing. Our blood was the same, and I could never deny protecting my brother. I’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for me. This was a sick test to prove that, and there was no way I could fail him.

  Chapter 3

  I woke up in the guest bedroom in Nick’s apartment. Honestly, I couldn’t even remember getting to this point. Yesterday was exhausting, yet I was sure it was a day full of topics that we’d never discuss again. I was just glad everything was out on the table, and we could kind of go back to how things used to be.

  When I climbed out of bed, I flipped through my bag until I found a gray, long sleeved dress. I pulled on some tights and knee-high boots and stepped out into the hallway. Nick’s door was still shut, which wasn’t surprising. He always slept in, even more so than I did. Today was different though. I had a killer headache, and I needed a change of scenery. I wouldn’t go far, just to the restaurant downstairs, and then I’d grab something to eat.

  It was only a couple minutes later that I was sitting in the upscale restaurant. They were serving lunch, so I scanned the menu for something filling. Suddenly, someone caught my eye. The girl from Nick’s place was walking by, wearing a canary yellow cardigan, jeans, and some flats. Her long hair was braided down one side of her shoulder. Her makeup was very light, maybe only some mascara and some lip gloss. She was naturally gorgeous. I think her name was Angela. Yes, that was it.

  I waved her down, and she stopped dead in her tracks. She smiled and walked into the restaurant. She greeted me, “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you down here,” she looked at my table set for one, “especially without Nick. Did he abandon you?”

  “Not quite, he was asleep, and I didn’t have the heart to wake him up,” I gestured to the empty chair. “Please, unless you had plans, sit with me. I literally just got here. I didn’t even order yet.”

  She nodded her head and took a seat. A few moments later the waiter appeared with a second menu and glass of water. As soon as he was back out of earshot she rambled, “Look, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was so embarrassed when I realized you were his sister. I felt like I could just die.” I shook it off. “No, but for real, it was like the worst possible way I could’ve met you.”

  “Believe me; it’s fine,” I smiled, completely thrilled that I was just having some girl time. Gloria seemed to be a thing of the past, or at least, she was at this second while I was in Boston. Once I got back to Philly, I planned on doing everything possible to repair my friendship with her. “Nick and I kind of lost contact with each other as of recent, so I knew showing up at his apartment uninvited would be opening the door to a million possible surprises. If seeing you walk out of his bedroom was the biggest one, I’ll take it.” She exhaled and forced a smile on her face although it was still apparent that she felt uncomfortable. “So how long have you and Nick been seeing each other?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” she clarified quickly. That didn’t surprise me. I think the last time Nick had a girlfriend was when he was in the third grade. “We’ve been dating though since February. He sat next to me in one of my classes. That’s how he met.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like my brother. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him commit to anyone in his adult life,” as soon as I said my thought out loud, I regretted it. I didn’t want to ruin anything he had with this girl. Although from what he said last night, she wasn’t exactly his main priority.

  “Actually, it’s not him. It’s me,” she smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “I love Nick. I really do.” Love? My mind went back to that tattoo I saw on her. Maybe she was delusional. “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can’t be with someone who won’t let me in. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl…but he makes me break my own rules. We do everything couples do, but I refuse to give him the title. It drives him crazy.”

  The waiter returned, and we both realized we hadn’t once looked at the menu. I picked a random thing, and Angela followed suit. I turned my attention back to her, “What do you mean?”

  “Look at me. You haven’t seen your brother in how long, and I’m already bitching about my relationship with him,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not fair. I’m sorry.”

  “No, please, I really want to know,” I took a sip of my water. “It’s okay. Whatever’s said at lunch stays at lunch.”

  After a long pause she said, “He came over to my family’s house for my birthday and Easter and every possibl
e holiday in between. He has my brothers’ phone numbers and hangs out with them like he’s one of the boys. My dad even likes the guy, and my dad never likes anyone.” She rolled her eyes. “It was such an easy transition bringing him into my life, but what about me? He says he loves me,” my eyes grew with shock, “but how can he say that and not want me apart of his life?

  I know how much he loves you and your dad because he tells me stories all the time about your past, but this shouldn’t be the way that I’m meeting you. I wish I could just figure out why he’s so embarrassed of me.” She gulped. “He says it’s all him, that for whatever reason he’s created the distance between you guys. At first, I wanted to believe him, but after seeing his reaction towards you showing up, I can’t. If he really wasn’t ready to see you, then why would he look so happy? That makes me think that I’m the real reason why he won’t take me back to his home.”

  She bowed her head, and my heart ached for her. Nick clearly hadn’t been honest with me about his relationship with Angela. Now that all of his secrets were exposed to me, I didn’t see why there was any reason why I couldn’t accept her into my life the way he was accepted into hers.

  Finally, I said, “Believe me when I say Nick was telling you the truth.” She perked up. “All you saw was the happy, wonderful greeting. Pretty much once you left it went downhill very quickly. He’s not lying when he says we have our own issues as a family, but the good news is we got a lot out last night. We screamed. I cried…more than once. We laid everything out on the table, and I think we’re doing a lot better.”

  “He’s been telling me the truth?” Relief washed over her face. “Really?”

  I nodded my head, and the waiter returned with garlic noodles for me and a chicken salad sandwich for Angela. Considering we put absolutely no thought into our meals, we were both extremely pleased. The food looked delicious. After spooning some food into my mouth, I nodded enthusiastically. Angela perked up and took a bite of her sandwich.